A novel by Joni Smith
Fifteen-year-old Johnny should be revising for exams — not learning how to survive his own family.
How You Saved My Life is a raw, tender story about grief, masculinity, and the quiet moments that keep us here.
How You Saved My Life is a raw, tender story about grief, masculinity, and the quiet moments that keep us here.
"To all the men who lose their voice in moments of despair, I hear you." From Joni, with love
"Raw, tender and unsentimental — a novel about masculinity, mourning, and the brutal work of choosing life."
Instead of exams, arguments with his dad, and pretending not to care what Sarah thinks of him, Johnny is left holding together what remains of his family after his father Jonathan dies: a mother disappearing under the weight of grief, a little sister desperate for kindness and routine, and a rage inside himself that feels bigger every day.
When Pete, the estranged grandfather nobody talks about, turns up offering help, Johnny wants him gone. But grief has a way of turning boys into liars, anger into violence, and silence into danger.
As old family secrets surface and the people around him refuse to let him disappear into himself, Johnny is forced to confront the one thing he cannot outrun: the possibility that being saved may mean letting himself be known.
Joni Smith is a Manchester-based author whose writing explores grief, love, friendship, healing, and the messy, beautiful ways people save each other without always realising it.
Her debut novel, How You Saved My Life, follows fifteen-year-old Johnny Crayfield as he tries to hold his family together after a devastating loss. Written with raw honesty, humour, heart, and a deep understanding of what it means to survive the unthinkable, the story is for anyone who has ever felt broken, lost, or quietly held together by music, friendship, and unexpected love.
Joni began writing the book in 2021, and what started as a single idea soon became a story about hope, connection, and the people who become lifelines when life falls apart.
When she isn't writing, Joni works in learning and development, creates content online, and can usually be found overthinking a caption, romanticising a sign from the universe, or crying over a song that hits a little too hard.
How You Saved My Life is a story about grief, masculinity, family, friendship and the things young people can carry when they don't know how to ask for help.
Because of that, it felt really important that the launch wasn't just about launching a book. I wanted it to connect back to something real, and to support young people who might be dealing with some of the same feelings that sit at the heart of Johnny's story.
The message of this book is very much that no young person should have to carry everything alone — which is why 10% of profits go to 42nd Street.
Signed copies, wrapped up with a little heart on every one — thank you to everyone who came out to celebrate the launch.
